Dear Journal,
Today is Tuesday July 7th and it is 5:01 PM. So this weekend (on the fourth) I had a massive mania episode. I exploded at my sister. She ticked me off so much I started to scream and have a break down because of my mania. As you all may notice I am not one to sleep and basically the 4th did it in for me. I just could not keep my mania in check and had a tantrum.
During the argument I remembered my father asked me to go vacuum the carpet. My sister started playing her show and I started to clean furiously. I would turn off the tv preventing her from watching and then she decided she had enough with me and turned off the vacuum.
I went off. I started screaming/crying at her causing my mother to come up stairs and scream at me. Screaming really triggers mania for me. I somehow hurt my shoulder (And I dislocated the shoulder a year before) and I didn't even notice it until I was calmed down later.
My mother came up later (with an icepack) and offered to either have me get a 72 hour watch in the hospital or a therapist. I chose the therapist since I calmed down a bit. She called the doctor and the therapist who both got back to her.
The next day I was put on Seroquel and I was knocked out for the day and the next. Today I went to the therapist and we talked about me being bipolar (lets face it cylcothymia is a variant of bipolar disorder so it is easier to say I am bipolar). I am currently looking into a "crazy camp" day thing at a hospital to learn about how I can cope with my bipolar disorder and get help as well as be with people like me.
She also confirmed it, I am Bipolar. Despite what my sister says that I am faking it. It finally feels good to have someone on MY side.
Also to any readers who enjoy my content, please follow and comment. It really gives me motivation and I would love to hear any stories and tips from others who suffer from bipolar disorder and experienced their own adventure. Thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment