Homophobia

Dear Journal,

Today is Sunday June 28 and it is 2:02 AM. Yes another early morning post. I have been slowly sleeping a bit more. It seems my medicine might actually be working and my mania is calming down. I am losing a bit of my creativity it seems. I find things to be slowing down a bit at a time and I really am not happy about it. I still don't sleep well, but now I am starting to feel a bit tired when I wake up in the morning. In the mornings I would wake up instantly, rub my eyes and just be fine. Now I get up and have the urge to sleep more.

Funny is the other night I had my phone next to my bed. When I actually got up like before my sister got me up around 1. Funny thing is apparently I must have punched the area where the alarm was going off because my ipod on my ihome was no longer connected to the dock. My body seems to enjoy sleep a bit more once I wake up.

Maybe I will get a good night sleep? Anyway in other news it rained again today and guess what I ran outside in the rain because I liked how it felt. It was fun to run around and get drenched by the downpour and I felt good. Even though I was soaked.

However as you can see journal I have been talking a lot about sexuality and mine. Well late last night after my entry I went on facebook to see someone who I am friends with (although haven't seen in a while) post something that differs from her usual selfie where she wears skimpy outfits.

She posted about how homosexuality is a choice and how its wrong and a sin. She threw out bible quotes and other things and I couldn't help, but be insulted. Here I am questioning things maybe even partially teensy bit coming out of a closet and then I just see how people like her react. Sad thing is other people I knew and was friends with agreed with what she was saying. However on the bright side it was a minority.

Most people were calling her out on how homophobic she was, how ignorant she was being, etc. etc. She acted like she was saying the truth as if she knew what she was talking about. I decided to share a story about someone I knew. Essentially this girl in one of my classes freshman year (who I was friends with) no longer goes to my college. Why? Because her parents abandoned her once they found out about her relationship. They did not approve of how she was dating a female to male transsexual and would no longer pay for her education, let her live with them, etc. She had to beg her family to let her stay in college for another semester.

She ended up having to drop out of school and beg for money hoping people would try and help her out. She was a smart person who had real ambitions and her parents were bigots who could not accept her for who she was. She ended up having to go work jobs and pay for her own food, shelter, and medicine. Who does that to their child?

The way she spoke sounded like an argument from the Westboro Baptist Church and I was so disgusted that people I knew thought this way. I was more disgusted she believed it and thought it was the word of god.

Personally I don't know if god is real or not. Sometimes I think he is real, sometimes I doubt it. I am more agnostic, but I hate how people throw religion in an argument and it saddens me that religion is this answer to people. I just want to call out how people believe everything from a book written thousands of years ago. I think my view of religion might be better suited for another entry on its on. Probably tomorrow.

Still, it upsets me that here I am questioning everything and this homophobia gets thrown in my face. It makes me so angry and frustrated.